¯\_()_/¯

"Nibby" (nibby68) 04/22/2015 at 12:17 • Filed to: None

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In the fall, I made a friend with a new grad student. She and I come from the same background culturally, first-born American Muslims. She’s 4 years older than me. After we talked for a couple of weeks, she asked me to teach her video editing, Photoshop, how to make GIFs, organize her digital life, etc. We spent a lot of time doing that and we also would go to a weekly music jam session together. She expressed to me several times she had “plenty of crazy ideas but I want you to help me bring them to life.”

Fast forward a few months to now. She’s kinda disappeared. I’ve seen her once since December and she was telling me about all these great ideas she has but does not have time to make them. I told her let’s meet up sometime soon to discuss ideas for collaboration, even invited her to my parent’s house and my mom offered to cook a nice meal. She said she’d love to... except now she never responds to emails or texts or anything. I talked to a classmate about this and he said “Well, knowing her... she’s all talk.”

I don’t really feel that bad about it, but I have been thinking about the people I met in grad school a lot lately and she was at one point someone I talked to on a daily basis. People come and go...

But if she ever does initiate some conversation with me in the future, I will not be as open to her as I was in the past. Her loss. Reciprocity goes a long way.

Nibby > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:19

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Also, I forgot to mention she is quite intense. She told me “I already know what I want to do with my thesis project and it’s better than 90% of the ones people make in this program.”

I didn’t even respond to that comment.

CalzoneGolem > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:23

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She sounds terrifying.

For Sweden > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:23

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What did she drive?

Nibby > For Sweden 04/22/2015 at 12:24

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She doesn’t, lives in NYC

7:07 > For Sweden 04/22/2015 at 12:24

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Her Own Agenda™

For Sweden > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:25

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Never speak to her again

HammerheadFistpunch > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:26

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Don’t take this the wrong way, but some people are very good at finding the people that have the skills that they lack in order to accomplish their goals.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:27

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Chicks be like that.

I had a friend who was in kind of the same boat - he met this really awesome girl at school, and they hit it off great. And then one day she disappears. Like 2 months later he gets a single text from her that said “I can’t talk to you for a while, I had to leave the country, it’s work related” and that was it. Never seen or heard from her again.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:27

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So is that the source of all your doom and gloom this week?

Nibby > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/22/2015 at 12:27

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Sorry about your friend! :(

Nibby > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2015 at 12:28

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Yeah, I get that. I don’t really get the vanishing act.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:29

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Yeah. It was just such an odd thing.

I’m sorry to hear about your friend as well. It always sucks when you meet someone you like and they end up disappearing from your life.

Nibby > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 04/22/2015 at 12:29

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lol no

It is far more complex and deeper than that.

HammerheadFistpunch > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:32

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it could very well be that she just doesn’t need what you have anymore. Not to be a dick, but its a possibility, some people are just like that.

Bandit > CalzoneGolem 04/22/2015 at 12:33

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... Perfect for Nibby!

Nibby > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2015 at 12:33

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Yeah, I was thinking that too.

505Turbeaux > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:36

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your headline - good attitude. Keep on keeping on, and cut the people loose that are of no benefit to you in any way

Nibby > 505Turbeaux 04/22/2015 at 12:38

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Thanks!

I did befriend someone else who seems to be as crazy (might be even crazier) than me and we MUTUALLY help each other out with schoolwork and projects. My mentor suggested we collaborate on more projects and try to get some press through that.

CalzoneGolem > Bandit 04/22/2015 at 12:48

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It is funny because it is true.

Frank Grimes > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 12:50

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I went through something like this (many times actually) in this instance add 3 dates after years of freindship. Dates in which I asked her out formally and we went out. I think I was clear that I liked her and wanted to date her and then I never heard from her again I could have been more forceful in my effort to keep in contact but so could she but there was nothing and it is really weird when people who you get attached to people for me a person who doesnt let people in most of the time and you let them in and then just sorta fade away. It really makes me question whether it is all one sided or what I thought we had was just less in reality as compared to what I felt. I feel sad.

Nibby > Frank Grimes 04/22/2015 at 12:54

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I’m much like you in the sense I do not open much to others but when I do and if it is reciprocal, I treat those friends like royalty.

I kinda know how you feel, though you probably were a lot more attached to your lady friend, having known her for years. Sorry about that.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 13:03

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Well, let me know if you need some stupid meme .gif or video to cheer you up and get your mind off of it.

Rico > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 13:15

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Pro tip:

With girls you aren’t super cool with, don’t invite them to have dinner with your parents. Maybe you didn’t like her in that way but she may have gotten the wrong impression that you were trying to form a serious relationship or something.

Even with someone you just start dating don’t bring up having dinner with any parents until a lot later. The equivalent would be going out on a date with a girl and her saying “She can’t wait to get married and have kids”, it can put someone off.

Rico > Frank Grimes 04/22/2015 at 13:15

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Usually dating someone you’ve been friends with barely ever works out, don’t beat yourself up about it.

Nibby > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 04/22/2015 at 13:27

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Hah, thanks! I’m feeling pretty good at the moment.

Nibby > Rico 04/22/2015 at 13:28

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She knows I don’t like her that way. And she said she wanted to have my mom’s food based on an earlier discussion on our parents’ cooking lol

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 13:33

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If you don’t mind me asking, when you say “press” do you mean that in the traditional sense of news outlets, or is this more of a school/local press kind of thing?

Tapas > Nibby 04/22/2015 at 13:48

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I know how you feel man....people never fail to disappoint me. And occasionally amaze me.

Nibby > Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) 04/22/2015 at 14:03

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Moreso online.

HammerheadFistpunch > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/22/2015 at 17:25

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Well, people be like that at any rate. I have guy friends that are the same way. Heck I have been like that at times, though I really try to to ask anyone for anything unless I’m willing to be there for them.